stupid me

2009-01-26T22:42:00.003+08:00

finally its my turn to go NS. it seems fun but its tiring as well. just can't wait to book out every week. miss my family and friends. life is still the same. nth much as change. once in a while will feel emo but that is normal la. cos its me. the emo kid. everytime i blog means something is on my mind and bothering me. that is y i seldom blog. think its a good thing as it means i am doing fine.

yesterday was in church, and when on the way back was thinking about cny. this year on the 2nd day of cny i won't be around as i will be in camp. sad as my relatives r coming over to my place. and with that thought in my mind, i sunddenly remember her, because she was the first girl i brought home during cny and was also the first one my relatives met. guess sometimes some part of me is still thinking of her as i move on in my life. lets hope i will onli remember the happy memmories i have with her.

ps: some where, some place, some times, u will always find a way into my heart and mind.

2008-10-04T15:00:00.002+08:00

batam trip was fun. glad i went. but shit i still can't go one round on the wake board. but at least i improve at the end of the day. i manage to stand on it for quite a distance. cable ski was fun. had lots of fun falling into the water. haha. shikai and lip r the pros now. skilled man. fun, tiring and pain pretty much says it all. overall i enjoy the trip.

then back it was to singapore, had steam boat dinner at helen's house followed by house bunny with dfs people. about 20 of us went to watch. its was quite a funny show jus that maybe because i was too tired i didn't really laugh much.

batam trip again soon. and this time i will stand on the freaking board. lol.
candice i won't lose to u again. lol.

2008-09-27T01:18:00.002+08:00

it was great going to the F1 race. standing there as the car pass by. in a sec and its gone. fast fast fast. the sound of it roar like mad. nearly went deaf after watching. but the feeling was great. having F1 cars speed pass u. some places they were just about 3 meters away from u. the vibration they create when they zoom pass u. could really feel the power of the car. great experience. Thanks Lisi. haha.

2008-09-16T02:06:00.005+08:00

sitting here all alone. its 2:06a.m.

had a great holiday. with the 34 gang. had lots of fun. laugh like mad. spinner was a killer. the whole trip was good. good company, good weather, great laughters. add up everything together, its a trip i will not forget and am really glad that i went.
made lots of badgets there. pic below.

2008-07-29T00:17:00.002+08:00

work work work. have been working like mad and it has been taking up alot of my time. which also means i have less time with my friends. leaving beach early alone every week sucks. cos of work i can't play till late. can't go for dinner with friends and can't ave supper with friends. but i asked for it so ya. now when ever i can i will meet with my friends. its this times when i feel happy and relax. jus chilling out cycling and dinner together. mahjong soon friends. and no more work for me on sat. so can stay at beach till late.

but one thing about work is that i get to make alot of new friends. my circle of friends is increasing and thats a good thing. have been working for almost 3 months. it has actually turn me into a more open person. as in i can talk to people easily even if its the first or second time i am meeting them. and i think its a good thing. this can help me when i first go into army. can make friends fast and also next time when i come out to work. love the job. but will try not to work too many shifts so that i will still have time for my friends.

friends r the most important people in life.

2008-07-13T01:44:00.002+08:00

its been a while and i am back.
work has pretty much taken up all my time. but i kind of like work. dun really have to do much and the pay is good. and also i got to know alot of people and made lots of new friend. thats the happy part of my life now.

now comes the not so happy part.
wad i am feeling now can't be said as sad but at the same time not happy. jus confuse, blank out, dunno wad to do wad to say. a feeling i can't describe the feeling cos there is like no words to use for it. if u r close to me then u will noe wad is making me feel this way.

but i have learn from my past that i shal not do anything stupid and make things worst. i should jus leave it all alone and let nature take its course.

good night world. i'm going to catch back all my slp and pray that tml will be a better day.

2008-06-13T01:48:00.002+08:00

volleyball can be said to be my everything. but it is also my failure.

2008-06-13T01:42:00.000+08:00

LOUSY.
me

2008-06-02T01:03:00.002+08:00

its been a while. life seem great. work has been fun. sch is pretty much the same. volleyball nth much. go whenever i feel like. but then had beach volleyball competition today. it was ok. win one lose one. think we did alright. and it was fun playing with bff. hope to play together soon again. think rip curl is coming up. wonder who wants to join with me. haha. love the beach love the sand.

love is a silly game we play. but its a game we love to play.

2008-05-14T22:40:00.002+08:00

i dun need this bull shit from u. without volleyball its not really a big deal. i go army still can play. dun think that ur team is so good that i have to come for ur training and help u pick ball and let u dis-respect me. u noe wad. if u say i dun show u respect, ask urself first. did u show me respect in the first place. u once said u will change not to be so hot temper. u changed. for the worst. so u noe wad. fuck you coach. i no need this bull shit from u. so i guess u will start to find ur next target real soon cos i will be gone. i pity the next guy.

2008-05-12T17:17:00.003+08:00

maybe its just me, couldn't you believe
that everything is said and did, wasn't just deceiving
and the tears in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that i was never brought into this place

there is no one closer than your brothers.

2008-05-12T15:45:00.001+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

2008-05-10T23:56:00.002+08:00

FEEL LIKE JUST SCREAMING OUT LOUD.
so many things i just want to let out.
but i just can't find the right person to talk with.
SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM.

2008-05-10T00:56:00.001+08:00

WIERD.

2008-05-01T00:48:00.002+08:00

today as i was going home after lunch, i saw this guy with a t shirt that wrote this " don't cry because it is over. smile because it happened." some how the words hit me. maybe God is trying to tell me something. sometimes it hard to smile but things dun go back. time onli move forward and never back. so somethings r jus good to forget about and go on.

dunno how i am feeling now. but jus dun understand y do how u feel affect me. WIERD.
somethings r better left unspoken.

2008-04-27T23:13:00.010+08:00

had a good time at my birthday. even thought was sad that some people could not make it. anyway took quite alot of pics. but can't seem to load it on friendster. so will put a few here.

group photo

doughnut. my beautiful friend. if u think she is fat then FUCK off. haha.

beauty and the 2 beast? no no. 2 hunks. lol. 3 best friends for life.

chris. my bestfriend.

BFF.

Rongna

Jass.( Happy Friend) gether gether

2008-04-24T22:22:00.002+08:00

listening to the song fall for you.

because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again
don't make me change my mind
i won't live to see another day
i swear its true
because a girl like you is impossible to find

a girl like u is impossible to find, losing u may have been my biggest regret for the 21 years of my life.
moving on.
let me do the impossible then. my birthday wish this year.

2008-04-15T02:03:00.002+08:00

today celebrated zs and jos birthday. it was fun. skating and playing at play grounds. spinning on the ufo so real fun. pic will be on my friendster soon. look out for it.

story of a boy who cares.

a boy who feels sad when his friend is sad. he doesn't understand y. he wants to help his friend, to make his friend happy. to smile, to laugh, to really feel happy and that nth else really matters as long as u got a good friend by u. but he can't. he dunno how. he tried many ways. but it always seem that the happiness his friend gets is onli for a short while. he wants his friend to be happy, happy from the heart. nt jus a face of smile and laughter to cover up the sadness inside. will his friend understand wad he feels? will he be able to do wad seem like the impossible? he will not noe but he will keep trying even if it takes all his breath and strength. all he wants is to see his friend happy once again.

to noe wad happen in the end pls stay tune to jonbrok.blogspot.com.
ps: dunno when part 2 of the story will be told. so jus keep track.

u were there for me and i will be here for u.

2008-04-07T12:19:00.002+08:00

someone once told me that life r full of ups and down. when u r on ur way up, there will be chances that u will fall. be it how high u have climb and fall, be it how hard the impact was, u should still move on. upon hearing this, it make sense. but again, can everyone really move on.

here is wad i say. life is like a story book. as u read on things change, challenges comes our way, sad things happen. and if u decide not to read on u will not noe wad happens at the end. be it a happy ending or sad one. (most of the times happy). so life is jus like a book, if we dun move on, we will never noe wad the ending of the book will be. its always hard to read on a sad story, but think of it this way. as u read u cry, if u cry u will stop, then there will be parts where u laugh. so forget about the sad part in the book and look forward to the ending.

ps: to u who i really do care alot. i can understand how u feel. but like wad u once told me, dun be sad move on. he or she is not worth u thinking. if the person really loves u that much he or she will never let u get hurt and feel sad. so cheer up. call me if u need me. jus like u were there when i needed u.

2008-03-28T23:44:00.002+08:00

today the vb team went off to malaysia. was thinking if i would regret nt going. but turn out i had a great day today. first was my early tan and swim alone. got a great tan. then went to meet cheryl, javier and chek meng at ps. bought my vest for cousin wedding in JUNE. haha. then went to suntec to look for jos (sis) working there. bought another t shirt from roots. got discount. haha. then walk around. met chris. walk more. took many pics. then met edith for dinner. then home. too lazy to put pics. jus look out for it on my friendster. over all. a great day well spent.

2008-03-26T22:12:00.003+08:00

which part of EVERYONE is paying $70 do u not understand. the 12 people that r going are paying $70. change will be use for a dinner in malaysia. the trip is $63, everyone pay $70. so 70-63=7. $7*12=84. 84 sin dollars will be change to rm$193. rm$193 will be use to pay for a dinner in malaysia. is this simple enough for u to understand. so y can't u jus pay $70 like the rest of the team did and keep wanting to pay $63 only. u say u got no money but do u think u r the only one with that problem.

then u say i selfish. pls look at urself in the mirror before u say people. who is the one in the first place cos wan to go friend's chalet then dun care about the team and lie that u have something on so can't go malaysia. if i am selfish then wad r u. i took over ur place cos u were going chalet. and i do think that i am kind enough to do that while u onli think of urself and having fun at some chalet. so becos of ur chalet i took over u and paid for myself to go. but now u suddenly say u want to go then they kick me out. was f-ing pis already. and all i wan was to get my refund. but no. u had to say that its $63.

lets make it simple for u to understand. u go shopping and order something that cost $70. u paid the money but u didn't get ur thing. they tell u that the thing is out of stock. so u expect a refund of ur money. and how much should the refund be? Ans:$70. but no they onli intent to refund u $63. wtf will u do. of cos u scold the bloody sales person rite. cos where did my $7 went to when i didn't even get the thing i ordered. is this simple enough for u.

2008-03-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

fuck u. i dun need this bull shit. first when someone cannot make it then ask me take over. kind enough i agree. then now then person can go u tell me i am not going already. what the fuck. who do u think i am. next time fucking make up ur mind before u get someone to get up so early to go down and do all the stuff and end up getting a call at the end of the day and say that all u did in the day was for nothing. so now if u can't get anyone to go is ur fucking problem. i dun give a fuck anymore.

2008-03-21T00:34:00.005+08:00

funny day i had. met doughnut and rong na for lunch as she had 3 hrs break. then had some alone time along the river again. walking back saw doughnut laughing like mad at the traffic light. was like wad is that crazy girl doing out of IMH. haha. then waited for them to end work and had dinner.
the main part of this post is about fuck feet. haha. pic below

oh and i almost forgot. they made me wore the RED SUSPENDERS. and rong na tried to smack me with it but hurt her own hand instead. lol.

jus another pic i took on my long emo walk along the singapore river

2008-03-20T00:08:00.002+08:00

STORY TIME.

this is a story of a boy. who got his heart broken so many times, he did not noe wad happiness was. it seem like happiness is something in his head but it seems so block up by other things. till one day he will onli noe wad lonely means. to be alone walking up and down. watching as couples go by. chatting and laughing. showing off the love they have to everyone around.

one day the boy took a walk down singapore river. a place fill with couples. as he walk, memories came rushing into his head. emotion came rushing into his heart. but still he pick up his feet and walk. as he headed to the end he saw this shop that he had once been to with that special someone. but now it was empty. jus like his heart. empty and close. in his mind he thought, a shop close but another shop will come take its place. but will that every happen to his empty heart onli fill with sad memories. then he started to walk again. along the river he went. as the sunset, the wind picked up. so he decided to take a break. sitting there over looking the singapore river with wind blowling in his face, he close his eyes and pics of her came flying in like a slideshow on a powerpoint. as he open his eyes everything was still the same. alone sitting there. watching over the river as couples walk pass him, laughing happily and all. feeling the emptiness in him, he walk towards the river. a step forward and he was off the side. into the river he went with a splash. everything turn black. jus like his heart was. now all he could hear was his heart beat. loud and clear at first but slow fading away till it finally stop and he felt nth at all.

THE END

2008-03-13T22:06:00.003+08:00

heyhey.
guess who is back to blog. the boring guy.
nth much have change since the last time.
made new friend. Jass. she is a pretty nice girl always laughing out loud.
lets see. i work at the it show as a delivery man. which got me pissed off when some f__ker jus dunno how to give way when they see u coming with all the goods. have to like bang into them before they f off.
current waiting for my second interview for the DFS job. hope to get in and work to kill time and earn money. big bucks i hope. soccer betting is coming back but i am still in control not letting it over take me. thats pretty much my life now.
been long since i played vb. and oh i can drive without P plate in 2 days time. YES. not like i got a car to drive but ya at least its been a year.
realise i haven't been telling story for a long time. maybe my next entrie. when i am more awake.
xoxo

2008-03-01T23:13:00.002+08:00

you look so beautiful to me.
when u r sitting there its hard for me to look away.
so i try to find the words that i could say.
no distance dosen't matter but u feel so far away
and i can't lie everytime u leave my heart turns grey
and i want to be back with u all over again today
cos i just can't take it
another day without u with me
its like a blade that cuts right trought me.
i can wait i can wait forever.
when u r there my heart stop beating when u r gone it won't stop bleeding.
i can wait i can wait forever

2008-01-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

i changed my skin. with alot of help from nigel. SIP now is so boring, cos there is nth much for us to do. project is actually done jus need to touch up a bit. have been spending alot of money due to shopping for birthday present and new year stuff. quite broke now. way way below my bank balance.

friends r real important in life. without my friends i dunno where i will be now. must thank doughnut for always listening to me make noise. haha.

last night went to watch movie. watch clover field. it will be a nice show if they would have film it better. the cam was like moving non stop and i really mean non stop. after the show i puke. so i paid $8 to puke. haven't been home for the night and the whole of today. going home soon. tired like mad. tml going shopping. hope i will be able to get all my new year stuff. thats about it all. signing out. will be back when i feel like it.

2008-01-01T22:53:00.001+08:00

lives goes on. it does not wait for u to get back up. it just move on.
here is to the start of 2008. here are some pic at one night stand. the rest can see it on friendster.

2008-01-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

2007-12-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

dinner with the tp vballers was great. lots if fun and lots of laughter. haha. poor hualun had to eat all that disgusting food. anyway after that they went to watch national treasure 2. did not join them as i have watched it already. so walk from somerset to lido to take bus. that lonely walk along orchard where it was pack with people really will set u thinking. how u wish that there was someone beside u to keep u company. thinking back with many if only in my mind. if only i had done that, if only i did not do that, if only i knew her better, if only i knew wad she was thinking. so ya. that pretty much how i felt after the wonderful dinner i had. guess sometimes being alone will really make u feel emo. haha. came home sat in front of the com and stare blankly into the bright screen. started to think about stuffs. i came to conclude that thinking too much is bad for ur brain and health. haha. off i go now. will see how this christmas turns out to be. how i wish christmas will come late. very late.

2007-12-17T22:08:00.000+08:00

"Famous Last Words"

Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your...

And I know
There's nothing I can say
To change that part
To change that part
To change...

So many
Bright lights, they cast a shadow
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Can you see
My eyes are shining bright
'Cause I'm out here
On the other side
Of a jet black hotel mirror
And I'm so weak
Is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A love that's so demanding
I get weak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

These bright lights have always blinded me
These bright lights have always blinded me
I say

I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

(How can I see, I see you lying) 'Cause I see you lying next to me
(How can I see, I see you lying) With words I thought I'd never speak
(How can I see, I see you lying) Awake and unafraid
(How can I see, I see you lying) Asleep or dead

'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
(Or dead)
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
(Or dead)
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
(Or dead)
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
(Or dead)
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
(Or dead)
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

CONFUSE

2007-12-05T15:36:00.000+08:00

SIP.
stressing me out. project dead line coming soon. but so many touch up to do. problem with MAXs and Eon. nth seems to go according to plan. but either then sip, life has been the same. sch, gym, home and sch again. jus add a little mahjong here and there. pretty much spells my life rite now. christmas is coming, kind of hoping that it will not come so fast. but time really flys, jus last christmas i had the best christmas ever. and now its already another new christmas. wonder how it will turn out to be. having bbq with my sec sch friends on the eve. the christmas itself i dunno wad i am going to do. but after christmas will be sch for me with more sip project.
soon i will be 21. and army is waiting for me. jus finish medical check up last week and i am in PES A. which means i have to do full bmt. its going to be boring.
right now can't really say wad i am looking forward to. cos there really is nth much for me to look forward to. jus living my life everyday with the same old stuff. hope life gets better has it goes. a new start for the new year.

2007-09-19T23:10:00.001+08:00

i guess i am still in the bangkok mood. shop in bangkok still not enough. haha. today i went to bugis street with best friend. and bought two pair of jeans and a watch. and for the jeans i use my bargain skills from bangkok and manage to get a discount. great i guess. at least now i finally have my black and white jeans. now its time to save. no money already. bread for breakfast and lunch then.

2007-09-18T01:22:00.000+08:00

back from bangkok. fun fun fun and more fun. really enjoyed myself. trip with friends r always fun. massage was super funny. was like laughing for an hour. shopping was great, shop till we drop. walk till ours legs nearly broke. so much things to say i dun even noe how to start. so to noe more can find me online can chat. photos should be up soon once i get them.

2007-09-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

today was a funny day. went beach and spent some time with long time no see vincent and mark. then went to meet hui ming(BFF).hope u like the jelly beans. =) thats where all the funny things happen. first was the bus we miss, then was the crossing of road nearly getting knock down by carS. oh and the most funny thing was the photo taking in the lift. here r the photos. of me onli. haha.

2007-09-10T21:22:00.000+08:00

wad should a guy do when he thinks he might have a liking for someone. someone he think he should not like becos of some reason. wad should he do. should he ask a friend about it?
or should he seek help from a friend that noes him and the girl he has a liking for?
i wonder wad he will do....

2007-08-22T00:19:00.000+08:00

this is yesterday's post. went out with XM cos her birthday was the day before and i thought of having dinner with her to like celebrate her birthday. i guess it was fun. cos i noe i had fun in toy-r-us. hope u had a great time and hope u like the little something i got. =)

this will be today's post. another dinner outing with my sec sch friends. cos it was one of my friends birthday. we had dinner and then K box. K box was great and i think i lost my voice. anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY Eileen. hope u had a great time.

2007-06-03T02:14:00.000+08:00

STORY TIME.
a story about a boy. a boy who found love and lose it but found that friends are really a blessing.
the boy was so happy when he first thought that he found "the one" but when it ended he was like so sad. but then he realise that there r many people out there that care and that friends are a real blessing. so now this boy is living fine. jus living life the way it goes.

life is full of surprise u will never noe wad will come next. jus pray that u dun get bad surprise that much.

mum went to batam. so i am like super free. haha. last night went to watch movie cos it was hua lun's birthday. then went to his house to watch soccer. this morning went beach. played till super tired. then went hua lun's house again to play mahjong. lose money but its ok. its the time with ur friends that count. haha. oh any looking at friendster with ming ming was fun. haha. and i am not emo mo mo ok. haha.
emo mo mo mo mo. hahaha.

2007-05-29T00:31:00.000+08:00

i am so surprise that doughnut has a blog. so i guess i should start to blog seen she say y never blog. nth much to blog about actually. oh i have a new found good friend. (AXM) haha and it so happens AXM is also on my laptop printed somewhere. anyway life went on after things happen. not that bad. but there r still times when u feel all alone by urself. thats when all ur good friends come in. lol. really thankful to all my friends around me. who listen to me nag and nag. haha.
jus watch finish campus superstar. it was super super funny. i was like laughing out so loud i think the whole of my hdb block can hear. haha. and also guess wad i cut my hair so short that it looks like i jus came out of army. bet pejavascript:void(0)
Publish Postople will get a shock in sch tml. heres a pic of my new hair style. signing out. jonbrok. really broke...

2007-05-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

i just got to noe someone by the name of XM. and i guess i wan her to be my GF. dun get shock here. it means good friend. lol. she is a very bubbly girl. always sound so happy. its great talking to her cos it makes me feel happy. so thanks for being my friend.

2007-05-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

when u love someone, you want the best for her, you want her to be happy. if to let her go can make her happy then u should just let her go. even if you r hurting so bad it does not matter. cause you love her then you will do anything just for her to be happy.
TO LOVE IS TO LET GO.

2007-05-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

was kind of bored. nth much to do. so decided to blog. realise that my blog onli will be updated when sad things happen to me. or should i when i jus had a break up. sometimes it really sucks that my blog onli have all these. all my sad story. but when i am not sad i dun find anything i can blog about.

i am over it. i am ok. but am i really. i guess i learn from my good friend to some how hid things and jus live life the way it is. but will keeping the problem away solve it. i guess onli time will tell. sometimes i feel alright but there r still times i feel like shit. but at least i learn.

life have not been the same without u. seem to be so free. seem like i am not able to find things to do during the weekends. maybe i am too use in meeting u. got to change that.

have been watching prince of tennis. a great show. and i am going to learn how to play tennis. coach coach must teach me well. haha. i bet my coach dun even noe i got blog. so won't be able to read this. haha. but i really starting to get interested in tennis. it seem so fun. so i must learn then can play with my friends and of cos coach. haha.

u noe when u r feeling sad and all, thats when u realise that u do have many friends out there. and of cos a few good ones. really dunno wad to do without them. listening to me complain, talk shit and some other things. so i would like to use this time now to thank a few of my good friends.

thank you to
chris (best friend for life)
han lin (?)
ee ting (doughnut)
hui ming (BFF)
siew wen (wife)
grace (ttp)

ps: rip curl is next sat, lets work hard team doughnut. yao wei, ee ting and hui ming lets at least get somewhere far from here. and maybe next year we can play again. team doughnut will win.

2007-04-29T23:35:00.000+08:00

Janice Wei Lan - Never Let You Go Lyrics

The rain just never seems to bring the joy, I feel the same,
Everlasting pain of my loss remains,
My heart can't seem to learn to part,
The hold you left your mark,
All that I dreamed of now it seem so stark,

Though I told myself, won't hold my breath,
A part of me was dying,
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in,

*Chorus
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

The way you left me on the train,
I don't know what to say,
I remember everything of that day,
I can't believe we'd never dance,
I just need one more chance,
To share the sunset,
Our one last romance,

Though I told myself, won't hold my breath,
A part of me was dying,
There is nothing left for me to do now but give in,

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go

this i a very nice song. kind of speaks wad is in my heart. but not all lar. maybe feeling emo once in a while is alright i guess. but in the end u have to be strong. happiness comes from yourself...

2007-03-16T20:46:00.000+08:00

life is so funny. the way it changes like at the very next sec. one sec u can feel all happy, the next u r all sad and unhappy and confuse and moodless. then the next u can be all happy again.
life is full of surprise.
surprise one, i pass all my subjects for my exams.
surprise two, i pass my drving test. ( i can drive already)
surprise. surprise. surprise.
life is full of it so be prepared when it comes. u won't noe when it will hit u.

living a great life now, cos i have a very caring and good girlfriend.
and i hope one day i will have the chance to marry her. and have 2 kids with her. and live a happy life. maybe a life like a fairy tale.

love "niliep"

2007-03-09T23:31:00.000+08:00

i am back to blog after a long long time. life have been great. infact it has never been better.

1st i have been attach to this very beautiful girl for one month and 20 days. she is not ur normal girl. but to me she is a princess. love you lot dear.

2nd i got a laptop. thanks to my beloved mum.
keeping my blog short if not some one will say too long. hah. that someone u should noe who u r ar. haha.

2006-11-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

2006-11-09T21:17:00.000+08:00

back to blog. this is about yesterday. yesterday actually wanted to play ball. but then the court last min cannot use. so we went to have dinner at long john. there was hui ming, ee ting, bob and me. the 4 of us. then we made molly. and dunno y there the air con sopil i think cos quite hot. or maybe its cos of someone. haha.. this is wad i wanted to say about yesterday. will put up molly pic. then also got another pic. ee ting should noe wad i mean. haha. but i will not put it up. so ee ting dun worry. haha.

then now its about today. so pissed i tell u. i went to sch at 10 and there was no lab again cos the stupid teacher dunno go where. then nvm. i help grace go back shss take cd from mr wong. and i heard from my juniors that miss teo noe about jaymee thing. i was like. wad the hell she also noe. so i decided to go look for her even thought i noe she will scold me. then she did say somethings lar. but as always she gives good advise. everything should be ok lar. then wad piss me off again was the sch com. so f up. ................ thats it.

playing kong kong. and i level 5 already. ee ting i am catching up. haha.

2006-11-02T11:42:00.000+08:00

i noe long time never blog. the post before this was actually sunday's post but blogger got problem so it onli came out today. this will be todays blog 2nd of nov. today early morning very pissed already. cos i set alarm wrong time woke up late. 10 class start 10 i still at home. then nvm so i took a taxi down to sch which cost me $4.30.. then guess wad. my bloody stupid lesson was cancel. i am so pissed i could kill the teacher. i noe someone will be thinking i am the evil guy again. haha. but i am jus pissed about it. make me waste money. i wan to say something. and that is i am NOT evil. ok. haha. y u say i am evil. haha. i am onli a small boy. this msg is to the person with sweet blood. haha. thats about it. dunno wad to blog also.
ps: see u soon the person with sweet blood. =)

2006-10-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

sorry SW i noe very long never blog u got nth to read then very sian rite. sch started already so have been quite busy cos i am still working. so got to manage studies and work at the same time. e maths 3 is super super hard. and my tut teacher suck to the max. he is so dame lazy lar. worst then me and i thought i was super lazy. anyway sch life is still boring.

today went out with hui ming for late lunch. which was also my 2nd lunch. it was fun. enjoied meself. hope she did too. but too bad she got to go back to work if not can spent more time with her. hope her work is ok and that she is not too cold. thats about it. tml match with np. hope can get to play. she will be there too. hehe. =)

ps: hope to have lunch with u again some other time or jus hang out. =)

2006-10-29T20:05:00.000+08:00

2006-10-29T20:02:00.000+08:00

2006-10-29T19:46:00.000+08:00

2006-10-20T10:06:00.000+08:00

chicken little is dead. things turn out the way i knew it will. guess the truth still hurts after all. knowing that it will happen didn't really hurt. but now that it has happen and knowing it and seeing it still brings about the pain. but the pain will go away. so to baby monkey be HAPPY. smile ya. and to her bf u better treat her well cos she is worth it. baby monkey if anything happens i will be there. but i won't be there always like last time already. cos i can't too. love u baby monkey. and good bye chicken little. =)

ps: its time for mr lim to wake up and see the the real world. ur princess has made her choice and i guess u should respect it and let her go. it will be better for her. if u really love her let her go.

2006-10-16T22:34:00.000+08:00

looking at my tag board, there seem to be a war going on in there. peolpe shooting people. people shooting me. but this is my blog and i will say wad i wan. and if u dun like it dun read it. no one is holding ur head to the com and asking u to read. but i also can't control wad people wan to do. so if u wan to shoot people in my tag go ahead then. can't stop anyone.
things are pretty much fine for me already. guess that letting go was not a bad idea after all. but i jus can't stand someone that talks bad things about u and act like normal in front of u. but i guess i dun really hate that person. i shall learn how to forgive. now life is getting to work and volleyball. love voleyball. will work hard for the coming matches. lets win this man. i wan a gold medal. haha.

ps: a friendly reminder to mr lim. guess its time for u to wake up. u said that u have change for the better. i dun think so. wad has gotten better. ur skills are going down. ur relationship with friends are also going the same way. can't u jus see the light. loving her does not mean u have to hold on. letting her go may be a way to show her u love her. cos i guess she will be happier that way. when she dun have to worry about how others feel. or scare that she will hurt anyone. if u really love her it time to let her go. this is jus a friendly reminder. i am not trying to say anything bad about u. u wan can listen dun wan then nvm. i have choosen to let go cos i noe she will be happier with me being there for her as a friend. she will find her happiness.

2006-10-14T10:45:00.000+08:00

today is time for story telling again.

wad story should i say first. ok. let talk about the story about a stupid guy. there was this guy who believes in wad ever this girl said. because he like the girl. even when he noe that the girl lied to him he still listen to her out and try to believe. friends keep telling him that he is being a fool. but he refuse to listen. he wants to believe that the girl do not wan to lie to him. the girl however dunno that he noe. but guess this guy is smart in some way cos he seem to noe everything. and i really mean he noe everything. for example: holding hands, hugging,where the person is,etc.... this poor guy had to noe all this about the girl he likes and can't do anything. he can't say her cos he and her r nth. he have no right to be angry. he can onli be sad and feel hurt and maybe even jus cry at one corner by himself. but at least this guy noes something. he noes that he have friends around him that care. thats one thing he should be happy about. and from wad i noe. i guess this girl her really treats this guy as NOTHING. i really mean nothing. i dun think she even cares if this guy dies a not. compared to the other two person that like her, this guy = to 0.000000... which means nth. thats the end of the story about the guy that was stupid.

now a stroy about a girl that is too soft hearted. this girl ar. wad to say. maybe she too nice already. bf broke up with her but she still think for him. and wad she get in return. she gets to know that the guy say that she has ruined his life. i mean how can he say that. thats super unfair to her lar. in fact if u look at it the right way. he was the one that wan to break up/ so who is the one that cause all this. so to the guy if u wan to say she ruined ur life pls go think about it again that is if u have brains and think wad did she do to deserve wad u say. i guess is time for u to reflect too. she has been so good to u and this is wad u say to her. haiz. i dun understand how can a guy be like that. really throw the face of all guys. haiz. thats about it. the end of my second story.

now about me. haha. u asked me y i not working. i tell u y. i tue and thurs got work already. then sat i dun wan to work. even if i got no work on tue and thurs, i also will not work. firstly the reason i told u before already. the second is the pay quite little and must work alot. but the most important reason is i dun wan to be EXTRA. i noe its better off without me. or maybe if i go also nvm cos i am invisible wad. anyway this is how things has turn out. not the way i wan it. how long will it be like that i dunno. guess onli time tells.

ps: to the guy dun say anything bad about the girl ( ur ex ) cos she really did love u and by saying wad u did it still really hurts her. ( for the second story.)
to the girl. if u dunno wad is happening then nvm. cos i dun think u also wan to go and find out. then let it be. anyway the guy dun mean anything to u at all. (for 1st story)

ps: to all readers, all stories above are true. fact and not fiction. for more details pls tag my blog. (wanted to put my number but better not)so jus tag will do. if i noe u then maybe i will call u to let u noe the details if u wan to noe. or u can e mail me at chanjonathan@hotmail.com
take care my readers

2006-10-12T18:12:00.000+08:00

sorry to all my readers. but the zoo outing part 2 has been cancel due to some personal reason. i find that there isn't a point in putting up the pics anymore. but i am too lazy to delet the one i have put up so enjoy wad i have put up. life have been hard for me since i came back from malaysia. things r still the same. found out something today. a promise was made but broken now i feel that i dunno how to trust the person. is like i really wan to trust u. but u r not helping me at all. people keep telling me y do i still believe but i also dunno y. maybe cos when u love someone u will really be blind. guess today something open my eyes.
wad ever it is, it still hurts to noe that she broke the promise we had. will i ever talk to her again. i dunno.
ps:jus to let u noe i dun hate u. guess i should be use to the pain already. good bye.

2006-10-12T11:00:00.000+08:00

zoo outing. part 1. this is onli half of the pic. but gtg now. so will update again soon. really had fun with u baby monkey. hope u did too.

2006-10-12T10:42:00.000+08:00

in love with each other.
nice couple.
everyone noe that this is a female lion. onli someone dunno.
snake can really be big. BIG.
i also dunno wad this is. haha.
still swimming
jus had a nice swim.
it was trying to be funny.

2006-10-12T10:32:00.000+08:00

one group of baby monkeys playing.
my baby monkey still more cute. and pretty too.
baby monkey. very cute. but my baby monkey cuter.
slp is all they noe how to do.
slping again. haiz. ZzZzZzZz...

baby hipo. it was cute there.

2006-10-12T10:14:00.000+08:00

funny looking fish. very big too.
this fish is big if u were to see it real life.

white tiger going for a swim.

white tiger.

lazy pig. onli noe how to slp.

white tiger

2006-10-10T13:24:00.000+08:00

the bowl of noodles that was not finish. reason is the person eating it. wad with this person. i wonder. he was hungry so cook. but turn out after he cooks even thought he is hungry but he still can't eat. maybe he was feeling down again. who noes. maybe onli the person himself noes. or maybe he dunno too. wad a funny day. thats the end of the story about the guy who did not finish his noodles.

today there will be 2 jobs. at same time. so i got to choose one. and of cos i will choose the one with higher pay. (but all u readers out there are wrong.) i will choose the one that has the person i wan to work with. because i dun wan anything i jus wan u to be by my side.
ps:baby monkey. =) ^v^ how do i live without you.

2006-10-09T12:35:00.000+08:00

i noe u didn't mean to. i noe u r sorry. but i am still hurt. and its quite bad. i dunno y too. i keep telling myself its actually nth but i still get hurt. iguess i am still the fool that dun understand anything. can someone out there tell me y it has to hurt so much.

2006-10-03T11:05:00.000+08:00

i am the big fool u fooled. r u happy that u manage to lie to me. people keep telling me. but i choose to believe u. even if i noe u lied i choose to believe in wad u say. but u have done a great due of pain to me. u lie to me again and again. i guess this is where it ends. i dunno how to bring myself to believe u again. if u told me the truth it may not have hurt so much. but by lying to me and me finding it out myself now it hurts even more. do u noe how it feels to have a thousand of needles being pierce into ur heart. out and in again and again. let me tell u it does not feel good at all. all the pain inside hurts so much that u feel like just having some pain on the outside to take away the pain in ur heart. u did show care for me. but did u really care. i wonder have i been a fool all this while. like a idiot walking around the face of the earth.

2006-09-30T21:53:00.000+08:00

i live a f_cked up life. just kill me.

2006-09-28T21:50:00.000+08:00

chalet ended. turn out to be "hell of a chalet". cos it was pretty boring. nth much happen. guess we jus didn't plan things well enough. today after check out, sw came over to my place cos i got to change and all. then we went to town to meet ttp. went far east eat. till so full. then went shoping again. haven earn money start to buy things already. today bought a wallet and a watch. the watch was cheap. $55 onli. for the adidas watch that use to cost $95. then got the wallet at $52. wanted black but last one so i took the brown one. not that bad. then was all the way home. super tired. slept on the way back in the mrt. reach home ate dinner. sit down watch tv with my mum cos my mum say she more than 1 week never see me already. then now on com. suddenly feel quite down. maybe things are still bothering me. but things will be better cos i must remember to smile always. =) rite baby monkey.

ps: i am willing to do anything. anything for u and not asking anything in return. will make u happy with all that i have. when u need me i will be there. when u no need me i will be in one coner watching over u making sure that u r safe and once u need someone to be there i will come out and be there for. this is a promise i make to u. and i am also very sorry that i did a stupid thing. u should noe wad. the thing that grace hit me for and lecture me for. u should noe. but i promise u i will never do it again. if i ever do it again i will glue my mouth together. a promise i make to u. baby monkey i miss yoU.

2006-09-25T22:02:00.000+08:00

yesterday went to beach but did not play ball. no mood. then after that went to meet grace, sw to marina square to shop at quiksilver. wah so many things to buy but i no $$$. then guess wad aaron teo spent $330.30 in that shop. alot rite. and thats after discount lar.

today went out with ttp, sw, hl, aaron, yili. we went k box and went to buy jia hao present. but today quite moody cos of some reason. but am ok now. k bow could have been more fun if i wasn't feeling that bad. but over all its ok. now home. heard she is stress. hope she feels better. i should not be expecting much. i must remind myself that. thats about it.

2006-09-23T20:12:00.000+08:00

jus got home from sas. feeling kind of moody. knowing that she is confuse. cos there r two guys. jus follow ur heart and go with wad u think will be the best out come. dun have to think that by doing so u will hurt someone. cos when there is love there will also be hurt near it. so jus follow in wad u believe and wad u want. thats all i am asking from u. cos never wan to see u moody and all because of this thing.

2006-09-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

i may be going crazy soon.............................

i dun ask for anything. i dun expect much. all i wan is for u to be happy and that will be enough. i dun wan to see u sad. i dun wan to see u cry. i dun wan to see u worry. i dun wan to see u stress. all i wan is to see u happy and knowing that u r happy is good enough for me. all i can do now i jus to love u from a far. dun see me differently. dun treat me differently. cos i am still the chicken little u once know and will always be. jus remember no matter wad i will be here by ur side. i will jus be behind u. so if u ever fall i will be there to catch u. if u miss a step i will be there to hold u. from where i am i will protect u. so dun be sad but be happy. so that i can be happy too. =)

ps: i miss baby...

2006-09-19T20:59:00.000+08:00

jus came home from floaters outing. it was fun. but there is something inside me i wan to say. that i feel. this is the first time i felt like this but she give me the feeling that i had for selina. and if anyone that noe me well noe that i like selina alot. so for me to have the same feeling for this girl really means alot to me. i dunno if its the right thing to do. but this is just how i feel and i can't stop myself from feeling this way. JAMIE I LIKE YOU. i guess u may noe this already already or zy might have tell u. and i noe that he likes u too. but this is jus how i feel. i really like you. have been thinking alot about it and decided that i should let u noe.

2006-09-18T14:23:00.000+08:00

really enjoied my trip. thanks baby monkey.

this looks funny. (baby monkey and chicken little)

on our way out to match. (baby monkey and chicken little)

match day number 1. (baby monkey and chicken little)

first night while playing. (baby monkey and chicken little)

at mac if i never remember wrong. (baby monkey and chicken little)

2006-09-18T14:21:00.000+08:00

baby slping in my beg.

2006-09-18T14:20:00.000+08:00

ah hao and me. the con men

2006-09-18T14:18:00.000+08:00

on the way to malaysia.

2006-09-18T11:04:00.000+08:00

this is baby!!!!

baby monkey trying to cut my finger. haha. try harder. hehe.

today is mon. just came back from malaysia trip. wad a week. first was 2 days camp followed by 4 days in malaysia. had lots of fun during both. but malaysia was much more fun i should say cos it was longer. very glad that i could bond with them so well. the floaters i mean. it was good bonding and hope we can go out on tue. our days were mainly following the girls team for their matchs and shopping. and of cos eating. the ramly burger was not good. sad. but the fun we had was. every night going over to rooms to play and all. laughing our heads off. playing stupid games to see who bath first and video it down to let the girls see. it was super funny man. hope zy upload the video on friendster.

oh and also thanks baby monkey for making me happy when i was sad and also for the sweet. baby monkey thanks for being there cos i always feel happy around u. and also thanks for trying to "rape" me ar. haha. thats about it. wan to noe more about the trip can tag me or sms me or call me.

ps: baby monkey. i miss baby.

2006-08-31T21:14:00.000+08:00

i hurt my leg. the area below my keen. it hurts alot. and i scare i cannot play volleyball again. cos i can't jum as it is very very pain. then walk also abit pain. haiz. hope that it will be ok soon. cos i still wan to play volleyball. it is part of my life already. =(

2006-08-02T23:13:00.000+08:00

today we lose to tt1. but we did our best. we played well. this is the first time i am playing as a main 6 in the team. glad that i am given the chance to play. today coach say i play not bad. i am happy. but i noe there is still room for me to improve and to do better. so i will work hard. glad to be in tp team. having fun. there r ups and down but still enjoy it very much. tp team is the best. tml will be gym day. going to work out again. thats it.

and yes i got the song she's the one. will she be the one. i am still wondering. haha. hope so. and yes i will be patient. cos the bible says "love is patient" and so on. so i must be PATIENT.

2006-07-30T20:43:00.000+08:00

last night was not very good. many things happen to a few people. dun wan to put names. for me last night could not slp cos keep thinking of someone. then this morning had volleyball match at amk sec sch. the match was ok. but wad i enjoy was the fellowship we had after that. went to eat then we all went to play cs. wad a game that we very long never play already. but it was fun. real fun. laughing and shouting like the whole shop is ours. haha. had a great day. thats it.

SA RANG HAE YO!!!!

2006-07-24T21:14:00.000+08:00

wad should i do. i feel so mixed up. i dunno if she noe how i feels. but i do feel for her. and i do like her. but do she feel the same way for me. i dun wan to tell her yet cos i sacre that it will destroy our friendship. but seeing her buying a guy present make me feel sad. am i thinking too much or wad. but maybe she does not like me. how would i noe if i dun even dare to ask her. but now in my heart it seems so blur. nth is clear. be it in my studies or her. when will i get to see the light. looking on msn. no one to talk to about it. where have all my friends gone. i need them where r u all. is having feeling for her wrong. i dunno. id it the right thing for me to do. can someone pls tell me. i really need help.

2006-07-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

today was another day at the gym. glad that i am starting to train. then the same after gym swim then when to eat at changi village. after that same thing again walk to changi beach played the same 3 people game. then came the part when i went to the place where i had memories. looking at the place sitting on the chair that i seat before. really bring back lots of memories. but its good to have memories. even if it is quite sad. but at least u were once there. u were once enjoying it. so i dun feel too sad. but to say that not sad at all is a lie lar. cos deep down still feel the sadness lar. but after so long learn to cover it up and hide the feelings. anyway i must thank all my bros. without them i will feel worst. so thanks to all. and also to my good friend that help me a lot. and was there for me when i was really down. guess friends are more reliable. so friends forever to my gf and all my friends and bros. bros 4ever ar. thats all.

signing out.

2006-07-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

very long never blog already. so jus had a feeling to blog.

yesterday went to edwin's place to do gym and swim. it was good. and will be going tml again. after gym we went to changi village to eat then to changi beach to walk and talk about ghost story. then yao wei said that if at hunted place cannot walk in three if not the one in the mid will see ghost. dunno true a not but then they started to play this 3 person game trying to make one person in the mid. haha. everyone was running here and there. that was funny. seeing edwin so big size running here and there. haha.

anyway today after sch went back shss for a while. then stay in sch until 4+ then we went to watch Pirates Of The Carribean: Dead Man's Chest. it was nice and funny. jus that no ending. haha. so do catch it and wait for the part 3 to come out. cos its worth watching. thats about it.

ps: cailin i do blog. haha.

2006-06-03T21:44:00.000+08:00

CHAMPION

2006-06-03T21:37:00.000+08:00

team tp

2006-06-03T21:28:00.001+08:00

team photo after match.

2006-05-16T22:41:00.000+08:00

sch was ok. onli that maths seem to get harder. but i will work hard on that. and also today my good friend came back from london. didn't really talk to her much. but she sure look different from last time. hope to talk to her again soon. anyway today pretty much did nth in sch. lesson was short lab was finish in one hour. and got burn by the dame resitor. tml there will be volleyball training. looking forward to it. and also zy got a laptop. make me feel like getting one. but where do i get the money. if i have a laptop i dun have to always stop using the com when my sis wans to slp. cos the com is in her room. i need a com of my own. like now i am waiting for some one to come online but i scare before the person come online i will be off cos my sis wan to slp. so having a com of ur own is good. quiz r coming soon. hope i can do it. and i will be going malaysia soon. the stupid sch dun wan to approve my loa. who cares about them i am still going. dun care. F the sch lar. it sucks. can't they give us a better life . anyway thats about it. trying to keep my blog updated. so that people who read will have something to read. thats all for now.

2006-05-15T21:24:00.000+08:00

i feel like bloging. thats funny. its been a long time seens i blog. many thing happen. sch and all. now sch is still ok but the new subject is killing me. but sch is still ok. maths is not that bad. and i am taking jap. the other day i had a long chat with my good friend in the library. which got me to think about the word love all over again. u dun have to go looking for it cos u won't find it but rather let it come and find u. one day u will just realise that hey the feeling i have for this person is so different. and not go and find a girl and have feeling for her cos u find her pretty or wad. i have a friend who wrote in his blog today that he walk in sch then like keep having the feeling to like look in class see if she is there. and hope she walk pass. to my that friend i got something to tell u. maybe u have found the feeling called love. or maybe it has found u. so a little advice for u. hope its helpful. follow ur heart. heart will bring u to love not ur head. cos the brain thinks too much. and the beauty of love is not about thinking to much but following one feeling and go for it.
but also u dun blindly into it lar. so to my friend hope this helps.

now about me. i jus realise that i have not let it all go yet. if u noe wad i mean. but really who on earth can. deep down inside i still feel the hurt sometimes. but its not that bad. but can't get it over. cos no matter how hard i try there will still be little left. maybe gf u will understand this better. i think u noe wad i mean. anyway that ends that topic dun wan to get into it.

the da vinci code. a book i am reading. today gf told me that it is even wrong to say or think or read that Jesus .... i will not say it cos its all wrong. yes i am reading the book and maybe watching the movie. but i noe that i still believe in the bible and i will not let this book shake my faith for God cos i noe that in my heart that God is real and i have faith in him and myself for wad i believe. the book is like something i like to use to ask myself question. its like some thing of testing ur faith in wad u believe. so i guess i do have faith here.

next up this came across my mind. maybe its cos mother's day was yesterday and all. i wan to tell the world that i have a very very very good mum. y??? cos she took care of me and my sis since young and she did it all by herself. people who noe me well noe y. and she work so hard for us to grow up. so when i really grow up into an adult and start to work i will never forget my mum. she is the best.

ok next was on msn jus... then had a msg from my friend in london and she surprise me by saying that she is coming back tml. and i was like really. r u serious. its been more than a year seen i saw her. i didn't even noe she left for overseas to study. but now she is back for dunno how long i am sure i will get to meet her and catch up with time and all. she will be back tml but i still have many friends overseas studying when will they be back. hope not too long. anyway thats about all i have to say for now. hope i will have the mood to blog again soon.

God bless all that read this blog. take care people...

2006-04-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

yup aaron i blog for u. haha. anyway today went out with my good friend. cos she need to do some study thing. then saw many people. and my coursin as well. and everyone thinks she is my girlfriend. yes she is my gf but gf= good friend. we are not together. can everyone get it right. if keep saying she my girlfriend then how am i going to find a girlfriend. haiz. anyway today write blog becos of something my gf said. and i would like to put it up here. listen up people but dun follow. never tell ur boss this... " go and die you asshole".... haha. can ask my gf wad it means if u noe who she is. haha. thats about it. and to let people noe... i am single. ok. i have no girlfriend. no i dun have. haha. hope to find the one soon. hehehehe....

2006-04-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

sorry aaron but i am here to blog again. yes i dun blog much now. thats cos i dun really have many things to blog about. yesterday had beach vb comprtition. lose so today no need to go. lucky also cos i was sick today after the match. had fever. then whole day stay at home. anyway heard that my good friend is leaving tp. i am so sad. less one friend in tp when i already have very little friends.anyawy hope she do well in where ever she go. hope she dun forget me. haha. anyway i dun really noe wad to blog. but for aaron i blog today. so aaron is not i dun wan to blog. is i dunno wad to write. thats y. but anyway can't wait to watch u act on good friday. thats about it. update more when i have more to write.

2006-04-01T21:53:00.000+08:00

i am back. the week was ok and got my pay already for the flyer job. so life have been rather boring now a days. theres nth to do. there no where to go. and theres no job for me. i need money badly but no job. then also failed my sup paper idiot man. and also the change course thing is like taking forever. when will i noe the result??? i wonder. haiz. really hope i can change lar. if not stay in my course so boring.
anyway today went to the sunset bay. been a while seens i went. didn't really play much but today went down to settle the team for next week beach volleyball com... i will be in one of the two teams tp is sending. hope to play well and hope we can go and train on thurs. and surprisingly i saw celine today at the beach. never see her there before. dun really noe her well. but i have a friend that told me she is very pretty. and guess wad i have never seen her at the beach before even thought i noe she do go there once in a while. then today first time see her. and my friend also saw her for the first time. he lucky ar. first time go can see already. haha. those who wan to noe who this guy friend of my is can ask me. haha. hope he dun kill me for this. cos he so call dun like blogers. guy blogers maybe. i thnk he think he very man. then think that guys that blog r gays. but sorry we r not. haha. anyway thats about it. and y has people use my tag board to talk to each other now ar. finf it very funny. but i am ok with it. willing to share my things. hehe. so feel free to tag me or even use it to talk to someone else.
by the way the song kiss goodbye is really nice. must thank chocolate for sending it to me. haha. k thats it.
p.s if su ann u read my blog.. pls let me noe when u coming back ya....

2006-03-27T13:23:00.000+08:00

heyheyhey....
today is monday. yes no more work. work was tiring. all 3 days at cityhall. lucky for me i guess. cos can slack. haha. slack quite alot. people take 5 mins break i take 2 and a half hours break. haha. first two day work with francis. then last day work with hua lun. some people from the work place are like shit. but most of them were ok. oh and on the third day i made a new friend at cityhall. thats about all about work. then there was sat. when down for chris birthday party. and got mango cake in my ear. rush all the way down after work to get cake in my ear. wth rite. haha. but it was her brithday lar. so let her. glad she like the card cos i dun think she like the present. haha. anyway holidays are long. so bored. nth to do. hope can get a few more part time jobs. haha. badly in need of money now. cos wan to buy the nike polo tee. its pink haha. but nice. and also i wan to get a hp. so i have to save money but i am broke. how? so must work. haha. thats about it. end here.

2006-03-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

today was to go chc. but i over slept. too tired. then woke up late. had lunch and met edwin. went to take hp from hwee koon. but the phone got pin code. and we dunno wad it is. so i can't use. after that i went to town with edwin cos he wan to buy cloths. in the end he onli bought a jean. i manage to buy for chris her present. dunno she like it a not. i hope so. sorry ar no money. actually wanted to get u a jacket from top shop but i am quite broke now. as u noe y. so hope u like it. thats about it.

2006-03-18T19:26:00.000+08:00

i am back after one month to write my blog.
thanks to all that read my blog. my life has been quite better already. forgeting things. things that i should not remember. so thats good for me. heard from su ann that she is coming back. so hope to see her soon. my exams result r out and i fail one. but i pass my retake sub which is maths. thanks to some help from irene. so i am going to treat her lunch. today one very sad thing happen to me. and that is i lost my hp again. AGAIN. wad the F... am i doing. losing my hp so many times. i must be stupid man. anyway wads gone is gone. be it hp or other things or other people. was at edwin house today. went for swimming. and sun tan. i now got sun burn. but today very happy. swim 70 laps. feel good about it.
now i have to save money to but a hp.. i think i will buy the one that i really like. and that is v3i. hope can get it. anyway i got a $100 discount for starhub phone. thats about it. and to aaron. u said my blog the skin very wad. and the music very wad also. so i change my skin and there is no song. see if u like it. tag me ya.

2006-02-19T02:49:00.000+08:00

hi to who ever reads my blog. i think no one lar. the last time i blog was like ages ago. lets start with where i am now and doing wad. i am at my friend's placce at amk studying at 3 am in the morning. can't believe that i am studying this hard. or should i say "hard". so now taking a break from the books. thats the end of part one.

part two. my life so far. how have i been getting along. i think i am getting along ok i guess. not too sure onli some times will have the shit feeling. sometimes will be emo. but guess its onli for sometime. now everyday study for exam if not go out wif edwin they all. valentines day was yet again a lonely day. even thought i had gf before, i have never had one during valentine's day. all happen to break up with me or i break up with them before valentine's day come. but valentine's day is jus a day lar. nth much about it. how i spent my valentine's day this year. when to buy present for someone. but realise that she won't accept it. so kind of like wasted my money. but anyway the thing is that i tried. thats wad counts. then went to my friend's condo for tuition. she was going to teach me maths. but when i reach the condo outside receive a msg from her say she not feeling well so cannot teach me. i dun blame her cos is not she wan to put me airplane. is cos she sick. so i had nth to do. so i called aaron. and he was nice enough to let me go his house. when reach his house his family was like waiting for me to eat lunch. i was so paiseh. but his family was very nice and funny people. his grandma is really funny. and i found out she like to watch korean shows like me. so i stayed in aaron's house and watch jay chou vcd. then went to meet edwin and zong. then zong go sch. so i and edwin go town cos he wan to buy birthday present. shop in town till about 6 plus. saw many couples. bith of us feel very sucky. haha. then when to meet my family for dinner. that was my valentine's day.

next up wad i have been up to. now waiting for exams to be over. then can go beach. very long never go already. have been catching up with chris alot. alot of people think that we are together but i will say no. but wad the use of explaining. u noe urself can already. then she told me this when i told her that alot of people say we together. she said if we really wanted to be together then we long ago together already. very true. cos we have known each other and became very close for a long time already. so to my good friend. i love u as a friend ya. and we both noe that we can never be together. haha.

another thing i have been doing is e mailing one of my long lost friend su ann. she i now in london. after talking to her online and by e mail i have found that she has change alot. and grown up alot. was really hoping to see her again cos i wan to see how much she has really change. but too bad she dunno when she will be back. and like she say she love me as a friend and me too i love her as a friend and we both do miss each other. so su ann if u read this i hope u come back soon.

next up.... nth much left. caught up with some old friends lately. talk to them online. felt good that i am still friends with them. thats about it. dunno when will be the next time i blog. hope not too long. take care all that read my blog and God bless u all. and to the feel good and best friends i have. really love u all cos u all have been a great help in a part of my life. oh ya. leaving with one thing to say. aaron told me this cos he saw poon's msn nick. something like this. " relationship dun last forever but brotherhood last for ever. our brotherhood that is. gtg now and study again. the time now is 330 am. signing off. JONBROK.....

2006-02-10T12:19:00.000+08:00

its been a long road. long time. seen i blog and seen many other things. one month plus already. and here i am still like that. sch is boring like hell. nth interest me in sch. that is y i am applying to change course. wad can i say. i guess no one reads my blog anyway. jus wan to say that i use to blog for a reason now the reason is gone. so there is no need for me to blog.

hope i win 10 million hahaha.

2006-01-25T19:02:00.000+08:00

its been a long time seens i blog. there is nth to blog about. my whole life is left with sch home. then sch then home. i noe it sucks. getting into that bad mood again. where i start to think of lots of things. this is when i realise that i have not forgotten anything. i jus try to hide it. but it all still there. the feelings and all. i hate myself for being like that. but i can't control the way i feel. so i guess i am still that sickening guy. that idiot guy. deep down in my heart i still love u. but guess the u hates me now. have anyone ever noe how it feels for the one u love so much to hate u. where can a person put such a pain away. my world become so empty, my days are so clod and lonely. each night i taste the purest of pain.

2006-01-14T17:03:00.000+08:00

today is a very boring day.

2006-01-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

blogging blogging blogging. y do people blog. y do i blog. do guys that blog means they are gay. blogging for me now is to write things that i feel cos i got no one to talk to. so writing it out here will make inside feel better. i am trying to move on. working real hard on it. moving abit already. the onli thing now is that she hates me. thats the part i am most sad of. but i will hope that she will be able to forgive me. jus dun hate me for too long. can't we even be friends???

someone told me. she is not worth it. but i think she is. cannot be my girl friend still can be friend rite.. but i dunno. anyway i read that her hand still hurts. dun think she will read this. but i pray that ur hand heal faster. and it won't hurt anymore. may God bless u.

2006-01-09T15:08:00.000+08:00

haven been bloging cos my com down again. so onli can use com in sch. which means i using it now in sch. dun really noe wad to blog. nth much happen to my boring life. oh. something new might happen. cos i maybe changing course. which means i will not be studying mechatronics in tp. but maybe tourism in tp. but i have to go and see the course manger first and all. if everything goes well then i will most probably be starting sch same time as the o level students. that means i have wasted one year. but wad for staying in a course i dunno like at all. then if i can go tourism then aaron also can go then maybe we will get to be in the class. but it all have to see wad the teacher says. hope can. ivp starting today. but our match is not until fri. sent her the fixtures for my match but i dun think she will come and watch. anyway today most probably having friendly with my coursin team the air force. so thats about it. over here i would like to share something.
love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 corinthians 13: 4-7)

so if u r wondering wad love is and find it a very difficult question to answer. here is one answer that i think is very good. btw if u r wondering where i get this from, its from the bible. i believe in God and have faith in him. therefore i believe wad the bible say. that love is patient, love is kind. it does not evny, it does not boast. and it is not self-seeking.
this maybe the area i went wrong last time. too much self- seeking. but i am beinging to learn from the bible. this shows how great our God is that even at this time when i am hurt and all i still get to learn something and that he has a plan for everything that has happen. so thats about it. for those who dunno about God and would like to noe more i will be more than willing to talk to u about it. and tell u wad i believe. but i may not be too good at it. i onli noe i believe. take care people. will try to blog soon. tag me if u wan. cos my tag board abit empty. haha. God Bless.

2006-01-05T20:20:00.000+08:00

i think i finally woke up. i am awake. ya having a relationship tied her down. jus glad that she is free and happy.

didn't do much yesterday. slpet my whole day away actually. then went for training. anyway today went to sch. java sux. i fail java test. sux man. then also fail D Fund. but did not bad. one of the best in my class actually. then for ssmat i got the highest in class. so happy. never have i get highest for anything. then was in ssmat tutorial when gf msg me. ask me go watch movie at 4. but my lesson ends at 4. so i had to run out of class half way to meet her. told teacher i had doc appointment. haha. but anyway i also got loa. she was late. wad can i say man. haha. then we watch Elizabethtown. ok onli lar. then after that walk walk and now i am here. did a bit of thinking today when i saw a very short e mail. hit me right in the face. quite hard actually. but guess it was good. at least it woke me up. so yup i will listen to the advise greg gave me. its good. guess now for the time being she hates me. hope she dun hates me for long. cos i still wan to be friends. but not at this point of time. yup i am slowly moving on i guess. thats good and i am happy that i am doing it. can't wait to move all the way. today i came to understand and see a different side of things. so i woke up. thanks to all the people that actually show their care for me. and thanks for all the advise and the asking of me to cheer up. really shows that when i am in such a state i have such friends around. great i guess. so thanks u all. and sorry to u. that i cos u so much trouble and pain and sadness. hate me now. but dun hate me for long. cos i would like to have a day where i can shake ur hand and we will be friends again. if that happens then actually God really make all things happen for a reason. cos i last time dunno u well. then becos of wad we had i got to noe u better. and after wad have happen we still can be friends then i guess we will end up being closer friends then way before when i didn't noe u well. so maybe God's plan was for us to be better friends. ya. so anyway. thanks to everyone... esp... gf.. who company me here and there. trying to scold me to wake me up. and for chad. thanks for caring. and the cd too. and of cos must thanks jasmine. cos she was there to talk to me online. and also help me make my blog until so nice. haha. to me its nice lar. and also to irene. thanks for all the vcds. will return u soon. so thats about it. oh and han lin. for wanting to meet but never had a chance. but its ok at least u tried. so now i can say Happy New Year. cos at least i found back some of my happiness. love u all. God bless u all. and me too.

2006-01-04T11:01:00.000+08:00

today was boring. i noe i dun go sch. go sch for one hour onli. waste time. might as well slp at home. then after class dunno where to go at all. seems like i really have no friends ar. all alone by myself again. so i took a bus home. and here i am. today i went out of the house telling myself i got to be happy. but after sch and all. finding myself all alone. thinking back at things. i realise i was not happy again. so officially now my life sux. seem like i try to make it better. but there is jus nth for me to look forward to. where is my motivation to life. when i wake up everything seems so blur. like it was jus yesterday where i had everything. had happiness. but then it all seems to go away as quickly as it came. leaving me wif onli sadness. maybe i am jus to emotional. maybe. maybe. maybe.

maybe i will never get over it. maybe i will be like that. maybe i will change to become a different person. maybe. everything is maybe. like the lyrics of the song u r listening to. only heaven knows wad will become of me. and if i will be happy again wif the one i love.

2006-01-02T22:28:00.000+08:00

tml start sch already. hope sch can help me keep my mind off things for a while. but how long can i run away from it. last night talk to greg. he told me alot of things. i should let go. thats wad he told me. cos i should not make her unhappy. told him i would do anything for her. even if it cost my life. some one told me this. dun because of one tree give up the whole forest. but i return him wif this words. she is the whole forest to me. so wad am i to do. my mind tells me that moving on is the right think to do. but my heart tells me that i still love her alot. anyway today i went to jav house. watch vcd. then we went to eat dinner cos xavier birthday coming. then we went to play cs. very long never play already. so quite fun. but all the fun came to and an end. and wad i thought i will not think of came back in. how i wish i would jus forget all. then i won't hurt so much. but i guess i won't be able to forget. dunno y also. but i wan u to be happy thats all. i guess u won't noe. cos i think u dun read my blog anymore. i guess u hate me already. and find me irritating. i am sorry thats all i can say but i can't stop my heart from feeling this way. really sorry. =(